Top 10 Not-So-Perky Parts of Pregnancy

I was looking back through the archives of my family blog that I started to chronicle my pregnancy and my daughter’s milestones for our families and came across this post that I wrote in July 2010, when I was 8 months pregnant. It made me laugh out loud to remember some of the things I was experiencing at this point, especially No. 10 (I could have sworn my water broke at one point only to realize I’d just sneezed a little too enthusiastically).

I figured I’d share it to give my fellow mamas a laugh and provide a moment of solidarity to my pregnant followers. I was right about No. 1 by the way, that definitely didn’t get better when the baby came, at least not for many, many months!

Top 10 Not-So-Perky Parts of Pregnancy

10. A sneeze is no longer just a sneeze. It now involves a mad dash to the bathroom and a quick prayer that you haven’t horrifically embarrassed yourself in front of all of your coworkers (or the other customers at the grocery store, or the people trying to eat at the table next to you. . .)

9. One word: HEARTBURN. I had never experienced this before my pregnancy, and I now fully understand why people complain about it so much.

8. Having nothing to wear. Oh, I have maternity clothes. But now half of those pants don’t even fit. It’s a humbling experience when your maternity jeans are too small.

7. Body parts sticking out of my abdomen. I always heard people say “You can even see an actual foot poking out, it’s so cool!” However, “cool” is not the word I would have chosen. I think “painful” is a more apt description. I am certain this little gal thinks she’s going to make her appearance through my belly button.

6. And that’s another thing- my innie is now an outie (and has been since about month 5). It shows through my shirts! People have said to me “Oh look at your belly button, it’s so cute!” Again, not the adjective I would have chosen.

5. Sciatica, bruised tailbone (from falling down the stairs-ouch!), muscle pain, OH MY! There isn’t a massage long enough to cure all of my back ailments.

4. Bathroom (ahem) issues. . . too much, too little, bad timing, you name it. . . I can’t wait until everything works properly again!

3. Can’t. Breathe. I get winded walking from the mailbox to the house, let alone trying to walk a crazy beagle for 30 minutes in 95 degree heat and 100% humidity. Thankfully, the hubby has taken pity and relieved me of my dog walking duties.

2. Medium rare steak, cold deli sandwiches, sushi, ice cold Pacifico. . .all the lovely things that are currently off limits. Forget yucky hospital food. When this baby girl is born, I want a cold turkey sub, Diet Dr. Pepper, and a side of spicy tuna rolls!

1. No sleep. What with the aching hips, copious bathroom breaks and constant tossing and turning, I’m averaging 2 hour stretches between interruptions. I think it’s God’s way of preparing new mothers because, unlike everything else on this list, this ailment will not go away along with the pregnancy. But at least then I’ll be getting up for a much better and cuter reason than having to pee!

About mommachine

I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and colleague. And trying to balance all of those roles at once can be utterly exhausting. Being the Type A control freak that I am, I try to run my life like a well-oiled machine. But sometimes the wheels get a bit squeaky (or just fly off completely, let's be honest). I have to slow down (yeah right, I know), give the different parts of my life a little tune-up and get back on the road.
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